Something I Never Wanted to Become

What's up, ladies and gentlemen, I am the eternal Heart of the Sun, and we are here for the View from the Sun. I've been trying to branch out in my creative areas because, well, as much as I love my job(sorta) I don't think I want to drive forever and ever. I've been trying my hand at streaming over on Twitch.tv/FilthyCasualXL, but I've also been working on learning some new skills for Youtube content. It's tough, especially since the market is saturated, but I'm also working on some other irons in that fire. Slowly but surely, I'm learning.

Today, I'd like to talk about something that I never thought that I'd become, or wanted to become. I've always been heavy. I've always had more fat than most. I've had times in the past where I worked some off, but never sustained. I've never been as consistent as I should be. I had always fallen off my wagon and I've been disappointed, saddened, destroyed, and downtrodden due to my lack of drive to keep going. I used to see people who were obese, and I mean bigger than I was, and I vowed, I swore to myself that I would control it. I wouldn't let myself become that large. I have failed myself. I don't have any reasons why at least not discernable reasons. I never wanted to look in the mirror and be completely ashamed of what I'd see. I don't know what exactly drove me to the point where I weigh more than 550lbs. I don't expect sympathy, but what I'd like is some assistance in any way you can. Cheer me, send me tips, tricks, healthy recipes, healthy meal plans, workout regimens that have worked for you. I'm at my wits end at times, and I have some workout plans, but you can never have too many options so if one doesn't seem to work, there's another that you can use.

In addition to some gaming and nerdy content, I want to chronicle my journey. I don't want to fail, because I feel like I only have a few more tries left before I run out. I want to chronicle my weight loss, healthy change, both the good and the bad. When I have bad days, I know my Casual Loungers will have my back, but that doesn't mean that I don't want you to let me know when I'm effin' up. I know the internet can be cruel, and dark, but the armor that I have acquired recently will help me through it all. And of course, any and all of my supporters.

Thank you for reading my little corner of the internet. I hope to see you over in my casual lounge on twitch, and of course when I get those Youtube videos up and running consistently, right there on Youtube. I appreciate you taking this time to check me out, and I hope you have a bright, sunny day. Unless you're not into that sort of thing, then I hope you have a bright, moonlit night.

Casually yours,
The FilthyCasualXL - ErosHelios - Erik