What's up, ladies and gentlemen of the internet? It's me, once again beaming down from the Sun. I know it's been a while and for that, I do apologize because I realize that consistency is a necessary thing to grow, or shrink in some cases, and I just haven't been consistent in much for a while. I could come in and blog with all sorts of platitudes about how I'm gonna do better, but let's be real and honest with each other, just saying something means little to nothing without actions behind them.
There's something that I've noticed with myself, I seem to avoid real introspection anytime something alerts me to it. As I re-read the previous paragraph, my mind wanted to switch activities to avoid the realization that, I avoid or try to avoid the act of real thought about myself. Not, I think, because I think I don't need to change, but the fact that I'm ashamed of what I have become. I'm ashamed of how I don't take the proper steps to change. I'm ashamed that I let the wrong things define who I am, and who I ought to be.
This has taken me three weeks to finish. I keep putting things off, and that's not good for me. I'm trying to keep myself accountable. I'm also learning to be better than I was. Better every day, to become the person that I know I can be. I think people see someone like me, and they think that I'm happy. That I'm content with not being where I should be in life, and I definitely am not.
I'm learning to take care of my mental health, which is just as important as my physical health. I don't want to be the person that loses their life due to inaction of self. I also want your help. No, I NEED your help. I need you to help me stay accountable.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but when I was younger, I wanted to entertain. I came up with stories and acted them out with action figures, and it brought me so much joy. I'd like to transfer that to entertaining people. Making people laugh, and feel joy. I want people to feel. I'm transitioning into other parts of my life. I'm working on learning some things that may help me in the end. One thing is certain, I'm going to take my shots because everyone deserves to strive towards their dream.
In that vein, I stream live every Wednesday, Thursday, Friday over at twitch.tv/filthyCasualXL I hope to see you in the Casual Lounge. Come say hi, and have a chat. I'm also working towards content on Youtube, but that's not ready yet. I will be keeping you updated on this progress.
Until next time, thanks for reading, bye-bye from the Sun.
Erik
*edit* I had this completed and worded differently until I couldn't publish or save, so lesson learned, always save or write in Word.
