Forget

I wonder if you'd forget me when I'm gone. I don't mean dead, but just away from here. The urge to run and leave, and forge my own path is overwhelming. I feel stifled and trapped inside my head, only rarely letting myself out. It's strange the things you forget, and the things you don't. A scent that stimulates your mind, a place that awakens your soul after being at rest for so long. A touch reminiscent of a past lover, bringing to life feelings of nostalgia.

I'm untitled

I don't know who I am, at times. I feel like a million things all at once, then I feel like nothing. Abandoned at times by those I normally feel closest to. Being there for them, offering support, and at times, advice. But when I'm feeling lost, confused, and pushed down by the world, I'm alone. Left to forge my path, find answers, alone.

I'm a novel barely begun, and yet at times, I feel as though I'm midway through completion, without substance. I'm a writer staring blankly at a sheet of paper, or a computer screen, unable to write a beginning, only knowing a true, definitive end.

I'm a hundred paragraphs, unconnected, yet must be connected somehow. The lines that connect them are invisibly drawn, having yet to appear and make themselves known, for I must draw them myself.

My silly little world

     I live in a silly little world, dominated by characters and stories so rich that the real world couldn't possibly compare. My world is filled with monsters and heroes, people that care, loyalty, and brotherhood. The world I adore is more real than the one I live in. People act as they should, show love where they should, and yet still have faults. They overcome those faults.

     I'd press the button in an instant. This world seems wrong. Feels wrong. Smells and tastes, wrong. People think you're something you aren't. Accuse you of things you don't do, but know them to be guilty of. I'm not thick, I'm actually pretty clever, and the thing is, I know the truth. I've always known the truth.

     My silly little world is more comforting than the emptiness that I find in the real one. My silly little world isn't filled with people plaguing me with fake feelings, manipulation of my real feelings or manipulation of some misdeeds that were perpetrated many years ago. I'd choose my silly little world, always.

The Journey of a thousand miles

Laddies, and lassies, boys and girls, it's been a while, but here I am, it's time to get the ball rolling again. It's time to turn on the machine, and it's time to get back to the bright light of the sun. So, welcome everyone to the view from the sun. The view is bright, and the light is shining on us all. If you're reading this, thank you for taking the time out of your day to do so. Now, on to the show.

The journey of a thousand miles, they say, begins with a single step. It's a long way from here to there, and I'm ready to take all the steps necessary to get to my destination. I'm here, and so are you, let's walk together. I'm not perfect. Nobody is. I don't say this to be cliché, I say this because it's true. Everyone has faults, demons, vices, and keeping them in check is sometimes the most challenging. I fall off, just like anyone else trying to control the demons, my demon, is food and it's time to tame this beast.

 

Today's blog is probably going to be more scatterbrained, than anything else. I'm trying to find my passion. I just don't know what I'm truly, wholly passionate about. I have many micro passions, I guess, but none that have taken over my mind. There's a woman who I think about often, but I don't know if she even knows I exist. I love music, and writing, but I don't seem to do enough of either. I like reading, but I'm never focused enough to read. I'm not saying this to spark conversation of what I should be passionate about, this really is my journey, because as anyone knows, it's about the journey, not the destination. The reason, I think, is because we all know the real destination of life. I want my journey to mean something to someone. I want to share my journey with someone. I want to share my journey with my friends.

 

I'm tired of doing the same old thing, every single day. I love gaming, and I will probably love it forever, but I want to try new things. Not saying I'm going to stop gaming with my friends, but It's not the only thing my life can be comprised of. I think I'm going to also start another blog chronicling my diet/weight loss/exercise regimen. Maybe friends and even strangers can offer words of encouragement and assistance.

It's time for my nap… Okay, I'm going to bed, my sleep schedule is dumb, yes, it's 8:00 in the morning. I'm tired of talking about what I'm going to do, it's time to talk about what I am doing. With that, I'm signing off. Thanks for reading, and have a bright, sun shiny day.