What do you do, when you've let yourself get out of control? You take stock of yourself, meditate on the problem and you get to work. So this is me, I'm getting back to work, so I can be happy, and live.
For the longest time, I've denied what I've known: I'm addicted to food. Sugar, and fat, and chocolate and all other sorts of confections are my weakness. It's difficult, because of two things, one, I need food to survive, and I know I need to make better choices, and two: I think, "hey, I can have just one or two small servings of this", and the next thing I know a big ol' pan of brownies or cookies are gone. And that's no one's fault but my own. It's as though my taste buds and brain just don't relay to my stomach that they don't need that much.
If you're reading this, odds are you saw my little breakdown on New Year's Eve, and obviously, I have some issues to work through regarding my self-esteem. Here's the thing, last time I was weighed, I weighed 565lbs. I don't reveal this number to garner sympathy, or to be ridiculed(although putting this on the internet is probably going to open me up to some). I share this because I want my peeps to know where exactly I need to start from. I don't know what lies within my sub-conscience that I need to reconcile, but this year, that's my mission: To learn new things and uncover my own issues.
I actually made a New Years Resolution list. Things I wanted to do in 2018, and I hope to accomplish at least half, but I do obviously want to complete the whole thing. I hope that you, the reader, will join me on my journey. I know I fell off the writing wagon, but I hope to get back on that as well.
You may have noticed that I used the word hope rather frequently, and that's because I believe that hope is what one needs to embark upon an endeavor such as this.
Thank you for reading, and I'll see you when the Sun comes up again.
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