Rude awakening

     Hello readers, and welcome once again to the view from the sun. I am your host as always, the charming Eros Helios. Today is day 2 on my long journey and, man did it come with a rude awakening when it comes to my diet.

     I like coffee. Anyone who knows me, knows this to be true. My local coffee joint is Tim Horton's, and as I do on most days, I went to buy myself coffee. Well, I didn't just get coffee, I also got oatmeal and a muffin. I should have just stuck with the coffee, and maybe the oatmeal, because the muffin has 400 calories, and then I look at the coffee, it has 440 calories in it. I know, sugar is not good for me, but it's a habitual kinda thing, and I like my coffee to be sweet-ish. Then I looked at the cream, and the cream has 300 calories for an extra large.

     With all that in mind, it looks like I'm going to have to either cut down on my coffee, cut down on cream and sugar or find lower calorie, non artificial sweetener, natural sweetener. It's just one thing that I'm going to have to change, but in the end it will be worth it. I suppose that coffee wasn't meant to be guzzled by the gallon anyway (hyperbole, I don't actually drink it by the gallon), but to be sipped and enjoyed slowly, just as life is meant to be.

     I'm thinking that I might write more than one of these blogs a day, because if I write one in the morning, well, you miss out on the rest of the day. Who knows. The road may be long and winding, but ultimately, it's going to be enjoyable.

     Thanks for checking me out, til next time, stay sunny!

Birthday time again.

     Ladies and gentlemen, a day late, and a dollar short, but here I am! Birthday blog 2013. The big 30, and I don't feel a day over 18. I have some problems, but I'm gonna solve them. 1,2,3, lets proceed!

     Not an easy day for some, as yesterday marked 11 years, to the day that we returned my grandmother to the earth. 11 years ago, on Tuesday, 30th of July 2002, I was waking up, dreading what lay before me. Time passed and healed all the wounds, but the scars are still there and they always will be.

     On to better thoughts though, now that I'm 30, I suppose that I really need to make changes. I don't remember how I got here, but here I am, and now I need to go elsewhere. I see you, probably scratching your head in confusion. By this I mean I need to get my health on track, I need to get my education on track, and I need to get me on track.

     Within the next year, I want to get in school, and I want to lose weight. I need to amend those statements because, I will be in school and I will lose weight! I'm asking you, my friends, my audience, to hold me accountable. Help me to keep my administration transparent (Ok, I'm an administration of one, but I haven't got the money to hire people, so bear with me.) I need to have my friends give me moral support, keep me on the straight and narrow (so to speak) seeing as I don't have the money for a personal trainer and I sure as hell don't have the luck to have a movie like experience of a personal trainer or some such individual taking interest in me and caring enough about me to do it for free.

     It's important to look to the future, but it's also important to never forget those that came before you. Those who sacrificed their futures to bring you up, rather than abort you, and the ones who sacrifice their very lives to maintain the freedoms that you enjoy. Never forget the blood, sweat and tears that have been shed, but also remember that there are good days for with the good we must have the bad. Life is simply a pile of good things and bad things, and the good things don't necessarily soften the bad things, and the bad things don't make the good things irrelevant.

     We all need help, and it takes an extraordinary amount of courage and effort to take the first step and admit that you need help. It's a debilitating feeling to know that you can't do something yourself.

     I hope that each and every one of you who read this, or know me, will be here for my journey. I will be taking time out of my day to not only blog about random things, but also I will be keeping a food blog/diary and I hope that if I forget, or if I start slacking, someone will be there asking me why. It is my hope that one day people will look at me and say, "He EARNED his life back, it wasn't just given to him."

     And so, I say for the next chapter in my life.... IT'S CLOBBERING TIIIIIIIIIIIIME!

Realism

     Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the View from the Sun, and I'd like to welcome you to a very special post. This post is about as real as a person can get. I'm not going to sugar coat anything. I'm not gonna pull any punches, I'm going to be as honest as can be. This view is about to get bright, this view is about to burn.

     Are you ready? I am 29 years old. In 16 days, I will be 30 years old. I feel like I live my life as though it's over. I feel like it is too late for me to do anything other than what I've done. I don't feel driven to do anything "important" not because I don't want to accomplish anything, but because I feel like I already am past my prime, make sense to you? Because it doesn't make any kind of sense to me.

     I know that some people are going to tell me how great my life could be, and I know that it could be, but I don't know how to bridge the gap. I don't know how to get myself on the right path. A path forward, I don't really care if it's the "right" path, as long as it moves me forward, that's right enough for me.

     I know that I should feel driven toward something, but I just can't seem to find it. Once upon a time, my story would have traversed the industry known as professional wrestling, but once the doubt and negativity filled my soul, that was a pipe dream that would never come to fruition. I've had and wasted so much potential, because I really have never been able to believe in myself because there was always someone there to knock me down, and show me that I wasn't worth believing in, even though I was, and still am.

     Finding the proper motivation and tools to succeed is my top priority right now. I want so badly to become more than what I am, but my mind seems to feeble to get there. They say that if you believe it, you can achieve it, and I can almost begin to formulate the process in which I can believe it. I don't want to wake up every morning and think, "Gosh, why bother, my life is practically over" I want to go throughout the whole day saying, "What else can I do to achieve my goals, and help those that I love achieve theirs".

     Though the road is going to be long, arduous and at times disheartening, I need this. I need to get somewhere other than this, self imposed prison. Come hell or high water, I will do it. I'm not dead yet, you're gonna have to kill me to stop me. All the way to the top of the ladder, I will get my briefcase.

First thing

     Good morning ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the view...from the sun. I am, as always, your host for this journey into my brain, Helios.

     This time, I'd like to know, what's the first thing you think of when you wake up? I'm certain that the majority will say the usual, my kids, my love, my family, my friends etc. I wish I could say that. The first thing I always think about when I wake up is, my mortality.

     Now, let me clarify, I don't think about death and my dying as in its going to happen soon, it's not in a suicidal kind of manner, it's merely the realization that one day, the person I am, will cease to exist and the energy of the universe that resides within me will be set free.

     My god, and I literally just thought about this, as a free, incorporeal energy ball, what if we still have a consciousness. Able to go anywhere in the known and unknown universe.

     It's not something I fear, it's just something I wish that none of us would have to experience. We work so hard to make progress, learn, make a family, make a life and by the time we get to enjoy it, it's almost coming to an end. It is not fair. I know they say life isn't fair, but it should be.

     Life is short, and if we don't live it, we become bitter in the end. We think about missed opportunities, mistakes, and all the times we didn't even try. I don't want to be bitter. I hope that the human form isn't my last, but if it is, I want to make the ride worth while. And if you're not down with that, I've got two words for ya!!!

Monday Night

Welcome everyone, to Monday Night RAW! And we get a recap of last week… woo hoo… Here comes Triple H, and does anyone notice that in his titantron, there are no shots of him with long hair? Coincidence? I think not. When are they gonna advertise Curtis Axel’s theme music on RAW?

The bell rings, and triple H is just unloading on Axel. Furious punches and then some mudhole stomping in the corner. No chance, because here comes Vince McMahon! Vince McMahon just screwed Triple H? what the fuck? So, is this just going to be a power struggle? Back and forth, he’s going to end the match, I’m going to restart the match. A 60 minute Iron Man Match, on raw? Yeah, okay. So, I was slightly entertained by the opening  segment of RAW, but the whole dysfunctional family thing is getting old.

Okay, Steph and H are conversing. She’s getting so emotional, like usual. Oh god, she’s using the real life thing against him, what the… Ooh yeah, he’s he’s talking like Macho Man.

It’s time for Kane versus a member of the Shield. Do we really believe that it’s going to stay fair? So, I missed the first part of this match, thank god for DVR. It’s been a one sided affair here for Kane. Here comes the ring bell, being returned by the Chairman of the WWE, Vince McMahon. Great, a commercial. I hate commercials. Unwritten rule of wrestling: Whomever is in control at the beginning of a commercial break, will be in trouble when the action returns. Thank you, “Social network initiative” for taking my attention away from the performers.  While I’m on this, why do the tweets have to be so god awful stupid? What the hell! Disqualification, the shield completely stayed out of the match. /sarcasm.

Sheamus and Damien Sandow got put on the Payback preshow? Interesting. Everybody! Download the WWE App! NOW!!!!!! I can’t stand the advertisements for that damn app. Damn near going to kill anyone who plays a drinking game, right Steve? Replay from last Friday night on Smackdown! I love that Kane is the voice of reason. They get a title match? Lmao Kane! Kane just uttered the words that the WWE fans say all the time, “This doesn’t make any sense”. Now, he’s on to hugging Vicki Guerrero, nice.

AWESOME! The Miz is on RAW…Next. Last Monday, on RAW Miz beats Barrett with the Figure Four. Barrett on commentary, and the Miz versus Cody Rhodes. Poor Cody, ever since he grew that mustache, he’s lost his edge. Just an FYI I would love it if someone, or a group of someones, got me a replica Inter-continental championship belt. Miz wins with a figure four. Paul Heyman is here to tell us that Curtis Axel is in the 3way for the IC belt.

Break the walls DOWN! Chris Jericho is out next. Oops, I forgot it’s been an hour, so we have forgotten what happened at the opening of RAW. I just noticed that Vince almost whacked Justin Roberts in the head. Okay, where’s the fast forward button? Damn it! Steph and Vince yakking about what Vince did. Business first? I doubt it, PG sucks, yup, I said it. So, Vince is back in control of Raw? Why is Vicki there? Clusterfuck, clusterfuck, here you are.

Finally, RAW is JERICHO! Ok, Jericho is doing a promo. I’m not blown away by it. Ziggles is interrupting Jericho before he could say “A-gain” Ziggles did earn that title. Dear Mr. Jericho, please stop with the cheap pops.  Big E Langston vs. Jericho, um, okay then. I don’t really like Big E. Not because I don’t think he’s a good performer, I haven’t really seen much of him. I mostly don’t like him, because I hate his wrestling gear. Nobody wants to see that. Fuck the WWE APP! I miss the countdown before Jericho comes out. Triple backbreakers by Langston, very impressive. Jericho gonna fly.

So, why is it okay for a “Good guy” to attack someone from behind? WWE magazine is now digital? Nice.

Botch Cara is still employed by WWE? Wow. Zeb Colter is quite the patriot. Cesaro took off his garters. Cesaro is a phenomenal talent. It’s time for him to be treated as such. I think it’s hilarious that they are bringing up political issues on commentary. Sin Cara better not fucking win. Good job Cesaro. I like the Neutralizer as a finisher.

The Wyatt family vignettes are rather creepy, but that’s kind of the point, isn’t it? Cena/Ryback face to face. I’m fairly certain many people are going to love the Divas show on E! but I think Steve is going to appreciate them the most just because of the Bella twins.

Vicki is eating a cheeseburger. She’s embarrassed in front of Vince. Hahahaha If She things as well as she eats she’s going to find the right answer, way to be a S.T.A.R. Vince. I hear voices and they are saying shh Randy Orton is on. YES! YES! YES! YES! D-Bryan is here as well.

So, up first we have Orton versus Reigns to be followed up I’m sure, by Bryan versus Rollins. Dissention among comrades adds to the suspense and drama of the match this Sunday. I hope they don’t think that they are going to catch lightning in a bottle twice with Daniel Bryan and random tag team partners.

Orton’s match is a no contest. Daniel Bryan Wins. First pin fall loss for the Shield, I do believe. Aaaaaand another recap of the start of RAW I’m tired of this bullshit.

Kaitlyn finds out her secret admirer, and it’s Big E Langston. He looks much better with real fucking clothes on. It’s a little weird, yeah.  Okay, so AJ was behind it. Yum, AJ. AJ’s Crazy chants going on. I have to say I’m glad it was something that moved the storyline forward instead of the secret admirer being the Bella twins.  

Sheamus is the new chess champion because he broke a computer? Okay then. Why is this match presented by a cheeseburger? What? A bacon cheeseburger ! What? A Hardees super bacon cheeseburger! Damn! It’s R-Truth. I haven’t seen him in a couple weeks. King is staring at the burger because he knows he can’t eat it. Or, he wants to fuck it. Either way, it’s just not right.

Sheamus looks angry. Stephanie is looking for Vince. Oh, she’s pulling a switcheroo… I think Steph wants Triple H to beat the holy hell out of Vince. C.M. Punk is back, this Sunday at Payback. I don’t need to see a Ryback rampage. What the hell. Here come the lumberjacks for the 3 stages of fluff match on Sunday. And probably 90% of the lumberjacks are just happy for a little bit of camera time.

This is the end looks funny. 

HHH and Vince face to face. Holy shit. Steph just screamed at them both. Why is Vince trying to blow Triple H’s ego? What the hell. He wants HHH to be a pencil pusher. Vince is a giver? Hmm… Ask Pat Patterson. Now the viewpoints have flipped. Let’s all have a group hug.

Okay, I don’t really care about this “Main event”  so, I’m blowing this popsicle stand. Okay, I’m telling you, Ryback is a little scary. He’s afraid to get in the ring. Maybe one at a time, but not as a collective. I’m pretty sure you’d get that Ryback ass kicked. Ugh… yak yak yak. Wah wah wah…. A brawl to end the show… gee whiz, who didn’t see that coming.

Will to win, where do I find it?

     My god, how I hate taking a shower, but then again, I absolutely love taking a shower. I suppose the correct thing to say is, 'I hate that my mind thinks of awesome ideas while I'm in the shower'. Yup, sounds about right. Here it is, 5:00 A.M. and well, thanks to my beautiful infection, I'm awake. Getting almost 24 hours of sleep, with little to no break really fucks up your sleep pattern. 

     I've had a Kindle Fire, for about a year now, and for the most part, I haven't really read many things on it, not because I didn't want to, or because I didn't have any eBooks I waned to read but, mainly because in a way I didn't feel like it was mine. I bought it off Ebay just to see if I could get a bill me later account and sure enough, they sent it to me, wham bam thank you credit score for moderately improving. Alas, it took me an entire year to pay it off because of the dreaded intro offer of "zero payments, zero interest for six months." Oops, I forgot, to good to be true? Yup, once that six months is up, they are on you like you owe them.... Oh. Right. You do owe them money. 

     So now that I have MY kindle, signed, sealed and delivered and MINE(did I mention it was mine?) I am reading some biographies, and autobiographies by some of my favorite wrestlers.(Yes, it's fixed, yes I know, hows your favorite scripted drama/comedy/romance/medical etc. going? Oh, and at least the people I watch, do their own damn "stunts" which coincidentally rhymes with...) I am in the middle of Chris Jericho's second book, "Undisputed: How to become the world champion in 1,372 easy steps". His first was "A Lion's Tale:Around the World in Spandex" Having read multiple other wrestler biographies, these two so far are my favorite, just because I actually have quite a bit in common with him, especially my taste in music. Which is fitting because I have both of the albums his band Fozzy have put out. 

     In Jericho's books, he talks about The Rock. Some of you may know him as Dwayne Johnson, or Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (some other sophisticated made up name that you might call him (like sugar pecs or, peanut buns, I don't know how some of you work.) and he talks about the rock practically being shit on during his debut(which to be honest, shouda been blue chippered the fuck out of Survivor Series) and how the cream always rises to the top. 

     As I was standing there, stark (not Tony) naked as a jay-bird in the shower, it hit me. The Rock EARNED his right to walk away and pursuit Hollywood, Chris Jericho EARNED his right to go be a front man for a band, I sit and I wonder why my heyday hasn't come, I wish, hope and dream for my dreams to just POOF come true, but the never will, because what The Rock meant when he said "The cream always rises to the top" is those that work harder, longer, faster, better, and more consistent, they are the ones who deserve to have their dreams come true. Those are the people who get their Wrestlemania moment, Superbowl victory, World series win, Stanley cup raising. 

     It's a will to win, I don't know where to find it, but you can bet your ass that I will find it. 

Stupid? Who you calling stupid?

     Laddies and Lassies, welcome to the second best view in the universe, the View from the Sun. I recently posted a status on Facebook, saying that I was stupid. Stupid may be the wrong word to use in this situation. I don't really believe that I am stupid, I'm maybe, the king of procrastination? The king of wasting time? I'm not sure. I've got all this free time, and I'm truly wasting it, watching it fly by, disappear into the past, becoming my yesterday, turning into tomorrow. 

     What the real problem is, is I don't seem to be able to keep my thought process in order. It's like the 1 sheep 2 sheep cow, chicken, horse, Old McDonald had a farm, HEEEEEY MACARANA. I want to go to school, but I don't know what for. I want to lose weight, get healthy, but I don't know how. I want to learn all this stuff, but I don't have the resources. 

     I need to discipline myself. I need to learn discipline. 

     I like that I have friends that say, ask me for help, support, information etc. and when you ask, they disappear... Wonderful people you are. 

     Okay, I know that this is a short one today, but I will be back soon. Same Helios time, same Helios Channel.