What do you do, when you've let yourself get out of control? You take stock of yourself, meditate on the problem and you get to work. So this is me, I'm getting back to work, so I can be happy, and live.
For the longest time, I've denied what I've known: I'm addicted to food. Sugar, and fat, and chocolate and all other sorts of confections are my weakness. It's difficult, because of two things, one, I need food to survive, and I know I need to make better choices, and two: I think, "hey, I can have just one or two small servings of this", and the next thing I know a big ol' pan of brownies or cookies are gone. And that's no one's fault but my own. It's as though my taste buds and brain just don't relay to my stomach that they don't need that much.
If you're reading this, odds are you saw my little breakdown on New Year's Eve, and obviously, I have some issues to work through regarding my self-esteem. Here's the thing, last time I was weighed, I weighed 565lbs. I don't reveal this number to garner sympathy, or to be ridiculed(although putting this on the internet is probably going to open me up to some). I share this because I want my peeps to know where exactly I need to start from. I don't know what lies within my sub-conscience that I need to reconcile, but this year, that's my mission: To learn new things and uncover my own issues.
I actually made a New Years Resolution list. Things I wanted to do in 2018, and I hope to accomplish at least half, but I do obviously want to complete the whole thing. I hope that you, the reader, will join me on my journey. I know I fell off the writing wagon, but I hope to get back on that as well.
You may have noticed that I used the word hope rather frequently, and that's because I believe that hope is what one needs to embark upon an endeavor such as this.
Thank you for reading, and I'll see you when the Sun comes up again.
Showing posts with label future.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label future.. Show all posts
Saturday, January 20, 2018
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Birthday time again.
Ladies and gentlemen, a day late, and a dollar short, but here I am! Birthday blog 2013. The big 30, and I don't feel a day over 18. I have some problems, but I'm gonna solve them. 1,2,3, lets proceed!
Not an easy day for some, as yesterday marked 11 years, to the day that we returned my grandmother to the earth. 11 years ago, on Tuesday, 30th of July 2002, I was waking up, dreading what lay before me. Time passed and healed all the wounds, but the scars are still there and they always will be.
On to better thoughts though, now that I'm 30, I suppose that I really need to make changes. I don't remember how I got here, but here I am, and now I need to go elsewhere. I see you, probably scratching your head in confusion. By this I mean I need to get my health on track, I need to get my education on track, and I need to get me on track.
Within the next year, I want to get in school, and I want to lose weight. I need to amend those statements because, I will be in school and I will lose weight! I'm asking you, my friends, my audience, to hold me accountable. Help me to keep my administration transparent (Ok, I'm an administration of one, but I haven't got the money to hire people, so bear with me.) I need to have my friends give me moral support, keep me on the straight and narrow (so to speak) seeing as I don't have the money for a personal trainer and I sure as hell don't have the luck to have a movie like experience of a personal trainer or some such individual taking interest in me and caring enough about me to do it for free.
It's important to look to the future, but it's also important to never forget those that came before you. Those who sacrificed their futures to bring you up, rather than abort you, and the ones who sacrifice their very lives to maintain the freedoms that you enjoy. Never forget the blood, sweat and tears that have been shed, but also remember that there are good days for with the good we must have the bad. Life is simply a pile of good things and bad things, and the good things don't necessarily soften the bad things, and the bad things don't make the good things irrelevant.
We all need help, and it takes an extraordinary amount of courage and effort to take the first step and admit that you need help. It's a debilitating feeling to know that you can't do something yourself.
I hope that each and every one of you who read this, or know me, will be here for my journey. I will be taking time out of my day to not only blog about random things, but also I will be keeping a food blog/diary and I hope that if I forget, or if I start slacking, someone will be there asking me why. It is my hope that one day people will look at me and say, "He EARNED his life back, it wasn't just given to him."
And so, I say for the next chapter in my life.... IT'S CLOBBERING TIIIIIIIIIIIIME!
Not an easy day for some, as yesterday marked 11 years, to the day that we returned my grandmother to the earth. 11 years ago, on Tuesday, 30th of July 2002, I was waking up, dreading what lay before me. Time passed and healed all the wounds, but the scars are still there and they always will be.
On to better thoughts though, now that I'm 30, I suppose that I really need to make changes. I don't remember how I got here, but here I am, and now I need to go elsewhere. I see you, probably scratching your head in confusion. By this I mean I need to get my health on track, I need to get my education on track, and I need to get me on track.
Within the next year, I want to get in school, and I want to lose weight. I need to amend those statements because, I will be in school and I will lose weight! I'm asking you, my friends, my audience, to hold me accountable. Help me to keep my administration transparent (Ok, I'm an administration of one, but I haven't got the money to hire people, so bear with me.) I need to have my friends give me moral support, keep me on the straight and narrow (so to speak) seeing as I don't have the money for a personal trainer and I sure as hell don't have the luck to have a movie like experience of a personal trainer or some such individual taking interest in me and caring enough about me to do it for free.
It's important to look to the future, but it's also important to never forget those that came before you. Those who sacrificed their futures to bring you up, rather than abort you, and the ones who sacrifice their very lives to maintain the freedoms that you enjoy. Never forget the blood, sweat and tears that have been shed, but also remember that there are good days for with the good we must have the bad. Life is simply a pile of good things and bad things, and the good things don't necessarily soften the bad things, and the bad things don't make the good things irrelevant.
We all need help, and it takes an extraordinary amount of courage and effort to take the first step and admit that you need help. It's a debilitating feeling to know that you can't do something yourself.
I hope that each and every one of you who read this, or know me, will be here for my journey. I will be taking time out of my day to not only blog about random things, but also I will be keeping a food blog/diary and I hope that if I forget, or if I start slacking, someone will be there asking me why. It is my hope that one day people will look at me and say, "He EARNED his life back, it wasn't just given to him."
And so, I say for the next chapter in my life.... IT'S CLOBBERING TIIIIIIIIIIIIME!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)