Birthday time again.

     Ladies and gentlemen, a day late, and a dollar short, but here I am! Birthday blog 2013. The big 30, and I don't feel a day over 18. I have some problems, but I'm gonna solve them. 1,2,3, lets proceed!

     Not an easy day for some, as yesterday marked 11 years, to the day that we returned my grandmother to the earth. 11 years ago, on Tuesday, 30th of July 2002, I was waking up, dreading what lay before me. Time passed and healed all the wounds, but the scars are still there and they always will be.

     On to better thoughts though, now that I'm 30, I suppose that I really need to make changes. I don't remember how I got here, but here I am, and now I need to go elsewhere. I see you, probably scratching your head in confusion. By this I mean I need to get my health on track, I need to get my education on track, and I need to get me on track.

     Within the next year, I want to get in school, and I want to lose weight. I need to amend those statements because, I will be in school and I will lose weight! I'm asking you, my friends, my audience, to hold me accountable. Help me to keep my administration transparent (Ok, I'm an administration of one, but I haven't got the money to hire people, so bear with me.) I need to have my friends give me moral support, keep me on the straight and narrow (so to speak) seeing as I don't have the money for a personal trainer and I sure as hell don't have the luck to have a movie like experience of a personal trainer or some such individual taking interest in me and caring enough about me to do it for free.

     It's important to look to the future, but it's also important to never forget those that came before you. Those who sacrificed their futures to bring you up, rather than abort you, and the ones who sacrifice their very lives to maintain the freedoms that you enjoy. Never forget the blood, sweat and tears that have been shed, but also remember that there are good days for with the good we must have the bad. Life is simply a pile of good things and bad things, and the good things don't necessarily soften the bad things, and the bad things don't make the good things irrelevant.

     We all need help, and it takes an extraordinary amount of courage and effort to take the first step and admit that you need help. It's a debilitating feeling to know that you can't do something yourself.

     I hope that each and every one of you who read this, or know me, will be here for my journey. I will be taking time out of my day to not only blog about random things, but also I will be keeping a food blog/diary and I hope that if I forget, or if I start slacking, someone will be there asking me why. It is my hope that one day people will look at me and say, "He EARNED his life back, it wasn't just given to him."

     And so, I say for the next chapter in my life.... IT'S CLOBBERING TIIIIIIIIIIIIME!

First thing

     Good morning ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the view...from the sun. I am, as always, your host for this journey into my brain, Helios.

     This time, I'd like to know, what's the first thing you think of when you wake up? I'm certain that the majority will say the usual, my kids, my love, my family, my friends etc. I wish I could say that. The first thing I always think about when I wake up is, my mortality.

     Now, let me clarify, I don't think about death and my dying as in its going to happen soon, it's not in a suicidal kind of manner, it's merely the realization that one day, the person I am, will cease to exist and the energy of the universe that resides within me will be set free.

     My god, and I literally just thought about this, as a free, incorporeal energy ball, what if we still have a consciousness. Able to go anywhere in the known and unknown universe.

     It's not something I fear, it's just something I wish that none of us would have to experience. We work so hard to make progress, learn, make a family, make a life and by the time we get to enjoy it, it's almost coming to an end. It is not fair. I know they say life isn't fair, but it should be.

     Life is short, and if we don't live it, we become bitter in the end. We think about missed opportunities, mistakes, and all the times we didn't even try. I don't want to be bitter. I hope that the human form isn't my last, but if it is, I want to make the ride worth while. And if you're not down with that, I've got two words for ya!!!