Realism

     Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the View from the Sun, and I'd like to welcome you to a very special post. This post is about as real as a person can get. I'm not going to sugar coat anything. I'm not gonna pull any punches, I'm going to be as honest as can be. This view is about to get bright, this view is about to burn.

     Are you ready? I am 29 years old. In 16 days, I will be 30 years old. I feel like I live my life as though it's over. I feel like it is too late for me to do anything other than what I've done. I don't feel driven to do anything "important" not because I don't want to accomplish anything, but because I feel like I already am past my prime, make sense to you? Because it doesn't make any kind of sense to me.

     I know that some people are going to tell me how great my life could be, and I know that it could be, but I don't know how to bridge the gap. I don't know how to get myself on the right path. A path forward, I don't really care if it's the "right" path, as long as it moves me forward, that's right enough for me.

     I know that I should feel driven toward something, but I just can't seem to find it. Once upon a time, my story would have traversed the industry known as professional wrestling, but once the doubt and negativity filled my soul, that was a pipe dream that would never come to fruition. I've had and wasted so much potential, because I really have never been able to believe in myself because there was always someone there to knock me down, and show me that I wasn't worth believing in, even though I was, and still am.

     Finding the proper motivation and tools to succeed is my top priority right now. I want so badly to become more than what I am, but my mind seems to feeble to get there. They say that if you believe it, you can achieve it, and I can almost begin to formulate the process in which I can believe it. I don't want to wake up every morning and think, "Gosh, why bother, my life is practically over" I want to go throughout the whole day saying, "What else can I do to achieve my goals, and help those that I love achieve theirs".

     Though the road is going to be long, arduous and at times disheartening, I need this. I need to get somewhere other than this, self imposed prison. Come hell or high water, I will do it. I'm not dead yet, you're gonna have to kill me to stop me. All the way to the top of the ladder, I will get my briefcase.