Sporadic moments of living

What's up, ladies and gentlemen of the internet? It's me, once again beaming down from the Sun. I know it's been a while and for that, I do apologize because I realize that consistency is a necessary thing to grow, or shrink in some cases, and I just haven't been consistent in much for a while. I could come in and blog with all sorts of platitudes about how I'm gonna do better, but let's be real and honest with each other, just saying something means little to nothing without actions behind them.


There's something that I've noticed with myself, I seem to avoid real introspection anytime something alerts me to it. As I re-read the previous paragraph, my mind wanted to switch activities to avoid the realization that, I avoid or try to avoid the act of real thought about myself. Not, I think, because I think I don't need to change, but the fact that I'm ashamed of what I have become. I'm ashamed of how I don't take the proper steps to change. I'm ashamed that I let the wrong things define who I am, and who I ought to be.

This has taken me three weeks to finish. I keep putting things off, and that's not good for me. I'm trying to keep myself accountable. I'm also learning to be better than I was. Better every day, to become the person that I know I can be. I think people see someone like me, and they think that I'm happy. That I'm content with not being where I should be in life, and I definitely am not.

I'm learning to take care of my mental health, which is just as important as my physical health. I don't want to be the person that loses their life due to inaction of self. I also want your help. No, I NEED your help. I need you to help me stay accountable.

Not a lot of people know this about me, but when I was younger, I wanted to entertain. I came up with stories and acted them out with action figures, and it brought me so much joy. I'd like to transfer that to entertaining people. Making people laugh, and feel joy. I want people to feel. I'm transitioning into other parts of my life. I'm working on learning some things that may help me in the end. One thing is certain, I'm going to take my shots because everyone deserves to strive towards their dream.

In that vein, I stream live every Wednesday, Thursday, Friday over at twitch.tv/filthyCasualXL I hope to see you in the Casual Lounge. Come say hi, and have a chat. I'm also working towards content on Youtube, but that's not ready yet. I will be keeping you updated on this progress.

Until next time, thanks for reading, bye-bye from the Sun.
Erik

*edit* I had this completed and worded differently until I couldn't publish or save, so lesson learned, always save or write in Word.

Games I'm excited for from E3 2018(Subject to Change) *UPDATE*

If you're a gamer, like me, then you know that E3 is in full swing, and here are some of the games that I personally am interested in. Now, this is as of Monday at 01:12 AM, so there's sure to be additions to this, and I'm only going to be delving into the games that are confirmed, and not rumored. So, this is my update now that the year is almost up and some of my thoughts from last years E3 Convention have not held up very well, be it because I didn't purchase/play said game yet, or because the game straight up sucked. New thoughts will be in red, following the old thoughts. So, here we go. 

Anthem - Won't be out until next year, but this is in my potential file. I'm a bit iffy because as much as EA claims that they are trying to learn from the backlash over their many mistakes, I'm not 100% sure they are being honest. Anthem floundered straight out of the gate with a launch that not only disappointed gamers, but also broke some PS4s, like literally turned them into $400 dollar bricks. I had high hopes for this game, and sadly EA disappointed again, which is doubly troublesome due to the fact that Mass Effect: Andromeda was reportedly another casualty because of Anthem development. 

Assassin's Creed Odyssey - No release date as of yet and I do need to get through Origins, but I was sufficiently impressed with the bit of Origins that I did play, to put this next iteration on my list. Also, Ancient Greece? I'm a huge mythology fan, so that's a bonus. I'm sad to report that I have not been able to get this game out of my backlog. I got it as a present for Christmas, and while I really wanted to have played it by now, other games/work has gotten in the way. I'm still working on AC: Origins, to be honest. I've heard nothing but good things about this game though, so when I get to play, I hope I'm blown away.

Battlefield V - Because Battlefield(though it's an EA title) does have a good track record, for the most part. I'm hoping that between this and another potential on my list Call of Duty, the battle royale genre will be playable without constant crashes(Ahem, PUBG on Xbox). I've played some of this game. What I did play, played like any other Battlefield game. I don't know what I really could want from an FPS, to be honest. I think the microtransactions in other games has kinda ruined it for me. I'm hoping that there is hope for the FPS genre, and something, somewhere draws me back in to play non-Destiny FPS on a regular basis again. 

Beyond Good and Evil 2 - Announced last year, this game looks fun and I'm actually a noob because I haven't gotten to play the first one, which I need to do. This game hasn't actually come out yet. I still haven't played Beyond Good and Evil, so maybe that's a good thing. 

Call Of Duty: Black Ops 4 - This is a very tentative title on my list because I'm not a fan of not having a campaign mode, and the futuristic warfare. However, Call of Duty, even if it's not exactly what I think it should be, it's almost always fun. This was an even bigger disappointment than Tim Horton's Oreo Muffins. A $60 dollar game that should have been, by all accounts, a $30 dollar or free to play game. They adopted the Fortnite battle pass mechanic, and on top of that, put in the same COD point microtransaction system that plagued the last 4 or so COD games. Oh, and they also never came out with a campaign mode, so...

Crackdown 3 - This is a game that I'm not very familiar with in terms of its canon and mythology, but come on, Terry Crews! Terry is one of the most entertaining men to perform in the entertainment industry, and lending his voice and likeness to a game like Crackdown 3 seems to be a match made in heaven. This is another game that I've not gotten to play, but from reviews, it looks good with an asterisk. On the surface it's fun, but some of the decisions in-game are head scratch inducing. The multiplayer mode has no squad system, so you can't play with friends unless you are lucky enough to make it into the same lobby. On the other side of the coin, I've not heard a lot from the campaign mode, so once I barrel through 1 and 2, I'll finally get to 3.

Death Stranding - This game looks effin' weird, and that's in a good way. Plus, again I'm going to have to give it up to the actors for piquing my interest. Norman Reedus and Mads Mikkelsen send my interest in this game into overload. This is another game that has yet to come out. Rumor has it, it will be a 2020 game, so we'll see. 

Devil May Cry 5 - Devil May Cry is just a fun series, and this game looks to expand on the mythology, and fun. I'm almost ashamed to say I haven't played the predecessors, but I also haven't gotten to this either. I've played a bit of DMC the spin-off of Devil May Cry, and I enjoyed that so I'm hopeful for this game.

The Division 2 - The first Division was riddled with launch issues, and well, while the storyline was okay the lack of endgame content and dark zone issues was a problem for a game that seemed like it was meant to compete with Destiny. This game improved so much over the past two years, that that makes me excited for its sequel. I have not gotten to play this yet, but from everything I've heard, it's head and shoulders above the original. I can't wait to get to play this, and hopefully, I will fully enjoy it when I do.

Doom Eternal - Doom is such a fun series. It's not for everyone, but who doesn't like heading to Hell to slaughter demons and monsters? I don't know why I'm interested in this since I haven't finished the previous DOOM game, but I am. I'm not sure when this will be coming out, but sign me up when it does.

Fallout 76 - An interesting direction to take the series, but it definitely has potential. Being able to play solo or with friends is cool, but my biggest issue is with it being "completely online". That's the exact same way Destiny and Destiny 2 are, so if the servers are attacked or if a player has a bad internet connection, you have a $60 dollar frisbee(if you didn't buy digital). That being said, I'm looking forward to what it has to show. As someone who wasn't really interested in this series, Fallout 76 seemed like a good place to jump in, and I'm glad I didn't. This game was riddled with bugs and issues from the start. I believe it still is saddled with bugs, with rumors that it will go free to play at some point.

Gears 5 - The Gears of War series is so good. I think it's "bro-speak" writing is actually smarter than most people give it credit for. Multi-player is a lot of fun, and the story is interesting. Gears 5 hasn't yet launched, which is good for me. I made it through 1-3, but I still need to play Gears 4, and not just the PVP.

Halo Infinite - I like Halo, or I like the thought of it since I've not actually played through the series despite owning the Master Chief Collection(I should probably get on that). To be honest, this still excites me, but I still haven't gotten on the Master Chief Collection.

Mega Man 11 - Because who doesn't love Mega Man?

I haven't yet played this, but it is still on my to-play list. I've never really played any of the others, so I'd like to get the collections and play them first.

Metro Exodus - This game looks intense. I don't know though, how much longer the zombie apocalypse trope is going to be viable. There are so many other zombie games either out or coming out that the genre is actually getting saturated. I suppose if the FPS genre isn't dying yet, perhaps the Zombie genre isn't quite ready to fully die yet either. I have yet to play this, so that really uh speaks for how excited I am for it. 

Pokemon Let's go Pikachu/Eevee - I'm very sketchy about this game. I played Pokemon go, and Eh, it's okay in my opinion. I'm not sure about mixing console/mobile pokemon games. It looks like it could be a fun game for kids though, and I'm okay with getting more Pokemon players in this world. I did get this. I ended up choosing Let's go Pikachu and I honestly had such a great time with it. I actually wouldn't mind re-purchasing it to play it again. 

Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice - This game looks like it has many mechanics similar to For Honor. In fact, a friend of mine and I both thought it was a For Honor sequel. That being said, it does look interesting. I had this pre-ordered and then I realized I had overextended myself so I had to pull out. I will get this at some point, as it looks phenomenal now that it's actually out and real footage has been seen.

Skull and Bones - This game has been on my radar since it was announced last year at E3, and it will definitely satisfy my desire to pirate. Still not out. And it was pushed back, I do believe. 

SoulCalibur VI - I haven't played a SoulCalibur game since the third iteration of the game, so I can't wait to get back to the world of SoulCalibur when it arrives.
I haven't played a ton of this, and from what I did play, it was fun as hell. I missed the over the top, 3D fighting mechanic. I can't wait to actually dive in and play for many more hours.

Spider-Man - My god, this game has so much to live up to and I'm not sure if it will do so. The last Spider-man games have left a disappointing feeling with me, and I'm sure many other gamers. There's nothing so freeing(in gaming) like web-slinging. Not even flying around as a superhero in a game like DCUO is quite as fun.
So Fucking WORTH IT! I loved everything about this game. The story was great, the writing was perfect, the VA was on the mark. I loved this game so, so much. I know I shouldn't think this way, but I can't wait for the sequel.

Spyro Reignited Trilogy - The memories of playing the original Spyro games have been stirred by this and, I hope that it's not just "rose-colored glasses" talking. Crash Bandicoot N'sane trilogy is a fun flashback to my youth, and I doubt Spyro will let me down. This one is still on my list, because of the same reasons I gave last year. Spyro is always a fun romp through my childhood, and hopefully, I'll be able to share that with the next generation. 

Super Smash Bros. - This is definitely gonna be a fun one. I think my niece and I will spend time beating the tar out of each other(virtually, of course) with some of the funnest characters in the video gaming world.

This game is exactly the amount of fun I thought it would be. It has great replayability, and you can create your own levels. 

This is my list for now. This is subject to change not only by new announcements but also in the future if a game is shown to look like it may be sucky, then my mind will likely change. If you're a gamer, it's both a fun and worrying time due to certain controversies in the community, but I think that if we as gamers put aside or minuscule differences, we can come together and have fun playing awesome games, offer constructive criticism, and improve the industry.

There have been some ups and some downs this year, and the gaming industry isn't perfect, but I have hope for it to thrive and to live up to what it can be. E3 is next week, and I can't wait, as always. Sony, this year, has elected to forgo coming to E3, so all the other vendors have the chance to really step it up, and I hope they do. 

Thanks for reading, Eros.

Pop figures list(updated often)

So, a lot of people ask me what pop figures I have, here is a current list of figures as of 11/24/18

1. Yoda #02
2. Han Solo (snow Gear) #86
3. Chewbacca x2 #63
4. C-3PO (Red arm) #64
5. Obi Wan Kenobi #10
6. Boba Fett (prototype) #08
7. Frieza #12
8. Piccolo #11
9. Végéta #157
10. Batman #01
11. Superman #07
12. Batman (unmasked) #51
13. The Joker Batman-Batman (Lootcrate) #65
14. Batman Beyond#33
15. The Joker (Dark Knight Trilogy) #36
16. Harley Quinn (Arkham Asylum) #54
17. Oliver Queen(TV Show)
18. The Flash(TV Show) #213
19. Hulk Hogan
20. Macho Man Randy Savage
21. The Undertaker
22. Tenth Doctor (regeneration, Think Geek) #319
23. Tenth Doctor #221
24. Tenth Doctor 3D glasses
25. Eleventh Doctor #220
26. Twelfth Doctor #219
27. Fourth Doctor
28. Evolving Dalek Sec (Gamestop exclusive)
29. K-9 #300
30. Batman (Arkham games)
31. Deadpool X-force (Gamestop Exclusive) #111
32. Deadpool #20
33. Hulk #68
34. Iron man (Deep space suit) #26
35. Dancing Groot #65
36. Holiday Dancing Groot
37. Daryl Dixon B&W (Walmart Exclusive) #145
38. Dr. Emmett Brown (Loot Crate Exclusive)x2 #236
39. Dean Winchester #94
40. Power Armor (Fallout) #49
41. Kylo Ren #60
42. Captain Phasma x2 #65
43. Majin Buu #111
44. Kid Goku with Flying Nimbus #109
45. Iron Man(Civil War) #126
46. The 12th Doctor with guitar #357
47. The 10th Doctor with hand #355
48. The Ninth Doctor #294
49. Widow Maker #94
50. Kylo Ren(Unmasked) #194
51. Bombshell BATGIRL #168
52. The Ancient ONE #171
53. K-2SO #146
54. Luke Skywalker 2017 Galactic CON #126
55. Leia & R2-D2 #NK
56. Tarful, Emperor Palpatine(unhooded) Utapu(clone trooper) Walmart Exclusive #NK
57. Baby Groot Amazon Exclusive #207
58. Prison break Rick Sanchez #339
59. Luke Skywalker (The Last Jedi) #193
60. Padmé Amidala (Emerald City Comic-con) #237
61. Martian Manhunter(Justice League Unlimited) #217
62. TARDIS #227
63. BB-9E #202
64. Gwen pool #197
65. Deadpool (Cowboy hat) #117
66. Vegeta(scouter) #10
67. Black Widow #91
68. The green Ranger MMPR #360
69. Alpha-5 #408
70. Assassin's Creed Loot Crate exclusive #379
71. Avengers Infinity War Iron Spider #287
72. Spider-Man: Homecoming Spider-Man #265
73. Weaponized Rick #172
74. Venompool #330 (Pop In A Box exclusive)
75. Pickle Rick(w/Laser) #332
76. Western Rick* (2018 Summer Con Exclusive) #363
77. Iron Man MK I (2018 Summer Con Exclusive/Gamestop Exclusive) #338
78. Star-Lord (Walmart Exclusive) #261
79. Goku (Ultra Instinct) #386
80. Spider-man(Gamerverse) #334
81. Ahsoka #268
82. Sirius Black (Gamestop Exclusive) #67
83. Hedwig *Flocked* #76
84. Silk(Walgreens Exclusive) #333
85. Venomized Black Panther (Gamestop Exclusive) #370
86. Hulk Smashing Loki *Movie Moments* (Walgreens Exclusive) #362
87. Christmas Deadpool #400
88. Christmas Hulk #398
89. Mickey(Kingdom Hearts 3) #489
90. Sora(Dual Blasters) #492
91. Gargoyles Angela #464
92. Spider-Hulk #374
93. Eitri (Amazon exclusive) #332
94. Batman(Hush) #239
95. Mei(Gamestop exclusive) #425
96. Tracer(Gamestop exclusive) #424
97. Spirit Spider GITD (Walgreens exclusive) #467
98. Young Obi-Wan Kenobi(Walgreens exclusive) #273
99. Darkside Anakin(Walgreens exclusive) #281
100. Mace Windu(Walgreens exclusive) #172
101. Harleen Quinnzell (Pop in a Box exclusive) #252

102. Christmas Darth Vader #279
103. Western Morty (2018 convention exclusive) #364
104. Conductor Mickey #428
105. Master Roshi(Peace Sign; FYE Exclusive) #381
106. Pumpkin Rapper(Power Rangers Gamestop Exclusive) #663
107. Rita Reuplsa #665
108. Unity #444
109. Sweeper Bot(Destiny 2018 Summer Convention) #342
110. Cayde-6 GITD(Golden Gun) #341
111. Groot (Infinity War) #416
112. Supreme Leader Snoke #199
113. Shuri(Golden) 393
114. Groot(Golden) #378
115. Rocket(Golden) 420
116. Gamora(Golden) #382
117. Iron Man(Golden) #375

118. Bruce/Hulk(Infinity War) #419
119. Holiday Mickey #455
120. Thor(Golden) #381
121. Ant-Man(Golden) #384
122. Daryl Dixon(Red A Shirt) #578
123. Trap-Jaw #487
124. Venomized Hulk #366
125. Vers(Captain Marvel) #427
126. Vers(Gamestop Exclusive) #434
127. Goku(Casual Super Saiyan) #527
128. Gohan(Training Outfit) #383
129. Super Saiyan Goku (Entertainment Earth) #14
130. Holiday Yoda #277
131. Holiday Groot 2.0 #399
132. Gamer Mickey(Gamestop Exclusive) #515
133. Gamer Minnie(Gamestop Exclusive) #507
134. Whis #317
135. Son Goku on Nimbus #517
136. Emperor Palpatine(ROTJ) #289

137. Darth Vader (ROTJ) #288

138. Endor Leia(ROTJ) #287 

139. Giant-Man(Ant-man and The Wasp Amazon Exclusive) #414

140. Super Saiyan Future Trunks #318
141. Jango Fett (Walgreens Exclusive) #285
142. Bombshell Hawkgirl HT Exclusive) #223
143. Red Wing Robin(HT Exclusive) #274
144. The Joker(Death Of The Family HT Exclusive) #273     
145. Captain America(Golden) #377
146. Bulbasaur #453
147. Arya Stark (Box Lunch Exclusive/ECCC) #76
148. Randy Orton #60
149. Thor (Gamestop Exclusive/ECCC) #438
150. HULK (Endgame/Funko Insiders) #463
151. Black Canary (Walgreens Exclusive/ECCC) #266
152. John Cena (Invisible) #59
153. Captain Marvel (Hot Topic) #435
154. Korath(Hot Topic ECCC) #437
155. Iron Spider (Golden) #440
156. Doctor Strange Golden) #439
157. Mister Meseeks
158. Batista #61
159. Reaper #493
160. Thor(Endgame/Tshirt combo)
161. Charmander #455
162. Darth Maul(2019 Galactic Convention) #299
163. Stan Lee #07
164. Charmander #455
165. D.VA (Funko Insiders) #492
166. Yoda (2019 Galactic Convention) #124
167. Venomized Iron Man #365

Games I'm excited for from E3 2018(Subject to Change)

If you're a gamer, like me, then you know that E3 is in full swing, and here are some of the games that I personally am interested in. Now, this is as of Monday at 01:12 AM, so there's sure to be additions to this, and I'm only going to be delving into the games that are confirmed, and not rumored.

Anthem - Won't be out until next year, but this is in my potential file. I'm a bit iffy because as much as EA claims that they are trying to learn from the backlash over their many mistakes, I'm not 100% sure they are being honest.

Assassin's Creed Odyssey - No release date as of yet and I do need to get through Origins, but I was sufficiently impressed with the bit of Origins that I did play, to put this next iteration on my list. Also, Ancient Greece? I'm a huge mythology fan, so that's a bonus.

Battlefield V - Because Battlefield(though it's an EA title) does have a good track record, for the most part. I'm hoping that between this and another potential on my list Call of Duty, the battle royale genre will be playable without constant crashes(Ahem, PUBG on Xbox).

Beyond Good and Evil 2 - Announced last year, this game looks fun and I'm actually a noob because I haven't gotten to play the first one, which I need to do.

Call Of Duty: Black Ops 4 - This is a very tentative title on my list because I'm not a fan of not having a campaign mode, and the futuristic warfare. However, Call of Duty, even if it's not exactly what I think it should be, it's almost always fun.

Crackdown 3 - This is a game that I'm not very familiar with in terms of its canon and mythology, but come on, Terry Crews! Terry is one of the most entertaining men to perform in the entertainment industry, and lending his voice and likeness to a game like Crackdown 3 seems to be a match made in heaven.

Death Stranding - This game looks effin' weird, and that's in a good way. Plus, again I'm going to have to give it up to the actors for piquing my interest. Norman Reedus and Mads Mikkelsen send my interest in this game into overload.

Devil May Cry 5 - Devil May Cry is just a fun series, and this game looks to expand on the mythology, and fun.

The Division 2 - The first Division was riddled with launch issues, and well, while the storyline was okay the lack of endgame content and dark zone issues was a problem for a game that seemed like it was meant to compete with Destiny. This game improve so much over the past two years, that that makes me excited for its sequel.

Doom Eternal - Doom is such a fun series. It's not for everyone, but who doesn't like heading to Hell to slaughter demons and monsters?

Fallout 76 - An interesting direction to take the series, but it definitely has potential. Being able to play solo or with friends is cool, but my biggest issue is with it being "completely online". That's the exact same way Destiny and Destiny 2 are, so if the servers are attacked or if a player has a bad internet connection, you have a $60 dollar frisbee(if you didn't buy digital). That being said, I'm looking forward to what it has to show.

Gears 5 - The Gears of War series is so good. I think it's "bro-speak" writing is actually smarter than most people give it credit for. Multi-player is a lot of fun, and the story is interesting.

Halo Infinite - I like Halo, or I like the thought of it since I've not actually played through the series despite owning the Master Chief Collection(I should probably get on that).

Mega Man 11 - Because who doesn't love Mega Man?

Metro Exodus - This game looks intense. I don't know though, how much longer the zombie apocalypse trope is going to be viable. There are so many other zombie games either out or coming out that the genre is actually getting saturated. I suppose if the FPS genre isn't dying yet, perhaps the Zombie genre isn't quite ready to fully die yet either.

Pokemon Let's go Pikachu/Eevee - I'm very sketchy about this game. I played Pokemon go, and Eh, it's okay in my opinion. I'm not sure about mixing console/mobile pokemon games. It looks like it could be a fun game for kids though, and I'm okay with getting more Pokemon players in this world.

Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice - This game looks like it has many mechanics similar to For Honor. In fact, a friend of mine and I both thought it was a For Honor sequel. That being said, it does look interesting.

Skull and Bones - This game has been on my radar since it was announced last year at E3, and it will definitely satisfy my desire to pirate.

SoulCalibur VI - I haven't played a SoulCalibur game since the third iteration of the game, so I can't wait to get back to the world of SoulCalibur when it arrives.

Spider-Man - My god, this game has so much to live up to and I'm not sure if it will do so. The last Spider-man games have left a disappointing feeling with me, and I'm sure many other gamers. There's nothing so freeing(in gaming) like web slinging. Not even flying around as a superhero in a game like DCUO is quite as fun.

Spyro Reignited Trilogy - The memories of playing the original Spyro games have been stirred by this and, I hope that it's not just "rose colored glasses" talking. Crash Bandicoot N'sane trilogy is a fun flashback to my youth, and I doubt Spyro will let me down.

Super Smash Bros. - This is definitely gonna be a fun one. I think my niece and I will spend time beating the tar out of each other(virtually, of course) with some of the funnest characters in the video gaming world.

This is my list for now. This is subject to change not only by new announcements, but also in the future if a game is shown to look like it may be sucky, then my mind will likely change. If you're a gamer, it's both a fun and worrying time due to certain controversies in the community, but I think that if we as gamers put aside or miniscule differences, we can come together and have fun playing awesome games, offer constructive criticism, and improve the industry.

Thanks for reading, Eros.

It's been a little bit, yeah?

Welcome once again, to that blog that flaunts the flair(Wooooo) and fills the heart like drinking MD20/20, the brightest view I can facilitate, the View From the Sun! I am as always your host, Helios, but my friends call me Erik.

     There's a lot of scary stuff in the world, but I'm here to tell you some less scary stuff, and perhaps, make you laugh. This is going to be a bit of a confession(ish), with a touch of regular life stuff, I think. I've meant to write this for the last oh, four or five days, but I've just been having a terrible case of writers block/laziness.

     I don't know what I'm doing. I know, a lot of people say that too, but in this case, it's so legitimately true. I'm not working as hard as I could or should. In the gym, or in life in general. I just don't know what is effective and is actually going to help me. What, besides changing my diet(which I'm trying to do) is going to have the best impact. Also, getting up to do cardio is difficult, but that's my fault due to the years of inactivity.

     I know that we aren't supposed to compare ourselves to others, but it's difficult not to. We see so many others figure it out, and we sit and try to figure out why we can't "get the recipe right" and thus, we end up in a cycle of detesting ourselves and our method that doesn't work, and think that there's no way to get this right.

     Adding to all these insecurities, I find my mind more often than not, in a realm of fog. I always feel like I've not gotten enough sleep. My focus is lackluster, and my attention span has fallen severely. Maybe I try to "multitask" too much. Maybe I just let myself believe that there's no such thing as too much screen time, and even as an adult, there's a limit. Maybe it's just time to disconnect a little bit. Make sure that I have a bit more non-screen time.

   I've literally been working on this blog for a few days...I keep getting distracted, and well, my laptop(am I the only one who still uses an actual laptop for stuff like this?) has been kinda acting like a spoiled toddler. I'm finally able to get back on this track.

     I don't want to turn this fine blog into a boring, droning, confession piece, or a whiney, poor me bit. All I can really do is end this, and say I'm going to do everything that I can to get myself back on track because I have dreams. I have a future of some sort because I choose to do better.

   

New years resolutions(Am I late?)

It's late, and instead of getting my butt in bed, I choose to write. I have half the day to do this, and inspiration decides to hit now. C'est la vie. I actually have been recording while driving so I can remember what I want to write about and now I just need to start going through and writing that stuff.

That's not what this is about. This is about my New Years resolutions, and well, I want to share them with you. So, without further ado, here we go!

Read 42 books: I figure I can read at least one a week, so this should be an easy task. I used to love reading so much, that at times I preferred it to watching tv/gaming.

Learn a new language, or improve on one already started: I took some high school Spanish like many other folks have, and as an adult I want to broaden my horizons and open myself up to other cultures.

Here's the generic one that many people choose: Get healthy via working out and eating better. I don't want to remain an unhealthy, 565lb person.

Learn a new skill in tech: Technology has been a passion of mine, but not one that I've taken as seriously as I'd like. I want to improve my knowledge base, and if I can keep my nose to the grindstone, I think I could learn more than just one thing.

Seriously begin streaming/creating content on Twitch/YT: Now, I don't believe that being a professional streamer/entertainer on one of the various streaming platforms is easy, but it's something that I think would be fun, and potentially a good idea.

Learn video editing/audio for good vids/podcast content: obviously, this goes with the last one, but it's actually something I started to look in to, but completely fell off the learning tree.

Take a writing class: I want to improve my writing. I don't think it's fair for me to say I'm good, but I think I have potential.

Volunteer to help others: I don't feel like I'm living up to my own standards. I want to leave this world better than it was when I found it, and I know that I haven't been doing that. I can do better.

That's gonna wrap up my New Years resolutions, and it might change over the year(adding things, not subtracting) and I hope that by this time next year, I'm writing to tell you that I successfully completed my list. Thanks for reading, and enjoy the view.

Weight just a minute

What do you do, when you've let yourself get out of control? You take stock of yourself, meditate on the problem and you get to work. So this is me, I'm getting back to work, so I can be happy, and live.

For the longest time, I've denied what I've known: I'm addicted to food. Sugar, and fat, and chocolate and all other sorts of confections are my weakness. It's difficult, because of two things, one, I need food to survive, and I know I need to make better choices, and two: I think, "hey, I can have just one or two small servings of this", and the next thing I know a big ol' pan of brownies or cookies are gone. And that's no one's fault but my own. It's as though my taste buds and brain just don't relay to my stomach that they don't need that much.

If you're reading this, odds are you saw my little breakdown on New Year's Eve, and obviously, I have some issues to work through regarding my self-esteem. Here's the thing, last time I was weighed, I weighed 565lbs. I don't reveal this number to garner sympathy, or to be ridiculed(although putting this on the internet is probably going to open me up to some). I share this because I want my peeps to know where exactly I need to start from. I don't know what lies within my sub-conscience that I need to reconcile, but this year, that's my mission: To learn new things and uncover my own issues.

I actually made a New Years Resolution list. Things I wanted to do in 2018, and I hope to accomplish at least half, but I do obviously want to complete the whole thing. I hope that you, the reader, will join me on my journey. I know I fell off the writing wagon, but I hope to get back on that as well.

You may have noticed that I used the word hope rather frequently, and that's because I believe that hope is what one needs to embark upon an endeavor such as this.

Thank you for reading, and I'll see you when the Sun comes up again.